Healing

God is so amazing. Agreed? We all can agree that God is truly an amazing God. Through God all things are possible. Even healing. Healing in ways that we never would expect. I know for me I have experienced healing in the most amazing ways. When I gave my revised testimony in June for Singles for Christ I spoke of a healing of the past and memories of the past. I spoke of a healing and peace that I had never known before God. I have always had a faith in God but I had never allowed Him to come in and heal that part of my life. I searched many different avenues both high and low. I tried all kinds of things that were of the human understanding and nothing worked. When I finally offered up to God and asked Him to heal those memories and the pain, He came and brought me a sense of peace that I had never known before. I had finally been able to accept the past and no longer feel hurt by it. Old wounds were finally healed and I was finally able to be at peace. I no longer think about it. I no longer think of myself as a victim but a survivor. He has given me the strength to finally have survived it. Through Him I was able to accomplish nearly the impossible. I never thought that I'd come to terms with it. I always thought that I'd live my life as a sexual abuse victim. I am no longer a victim. I no longer live out the memories in my head. God has brought me a sense of peace and healing. God has given me the ability to move on and allowed me to use it as my tool to witness to others about His amazing power and grace. It no longer looms over me like a shadow. God can heal you of anything if you pray for it and desire it.

I remember talking in my testimony about how God has healed me. When I spoke of it in the testimony though I was only referring to my experience of the past and the post traumatic stress disorder. I had never thought or expected that God would heal me of the bipolar as well. I had prayed for it. I had truly desired it but I didn't think it was even at all possible. The first time I asked for it was in November 2007 when I had attended a healing service at Holy Family Catholic Church. I asked for healing of the bipolar but I didn't think it all possible. I always thought that I would be dependant on medicine for the rest of my life. I had desired healing though. I hadn't found the right way to pray for it or ask for it but I had wanted it so bad. I didn't want to be dependant on medicines the rest of my life. My friends had been mentioning that someday I might be able to be off medication but I didn't really believe that it was possible.

Boy was I wrong! About 2 months ago, I was having trouble at work. I was having trouble thinking clearly and I felt my reaction time was slow. I felt i was thinking and reacting slow. My numbers at work were reflective of that. I thought I would just bounce back and I'd get back on top of things eventually. At the beginning of August I was put on performance probation and I had little time to improve my numbers. My job was on the line and I knew I had to do something about it. I had to take action to make some changes at work or else I'd lose my job. The next day I had decided that I would just go off all my medication completely. The psychiatrist had already taken me off a couple of my medications due to lack of compliance and not having any major episodes or side effects. I didn't realize that the lack of compliance without any episode or side effect was the precursor to being off of medication entirely. I didn't know that God was building me up to be off of medication completely. When I was put on probation I had decided that I would discontinue the two remaining medications cold turkey. I felt it was slowing me down. I really felt that I could use the mania to boost my numbers. God showed me that I didn't need the medication. The first day at work after being medication free was a slow day. But the 2nd day and the days following were totally different. I was able to be more alert at work. I was slowly starting to pick up my numbers. By the end of the first 3 weeks, my average had gone up from 27 to 33. I had been so excited because I had been completely off medication and I wasn't experiencing any mood swings whatsoever. When I went back to the psychiatrist, I told him about my decision to go off medication and the healing power that God had done. Lucky for me he is a devout Catholic as well and he agreed to let me go off medication. I have been completely off medication for more than 2 months now and I show NO signs of bipolar. I have not had any mood swing or episode since before going off medication completely. I have not had that much anxiety either. I have been able to do without any anxiety medication as well. I am so blessed. I had desired healing but I had not found the words to ask for it. But God knew it was what I had desired and He healed me. Not only have I been healed of the wounds of the past but of the bipolar as well.

God is truly an amazing God and I am thankful for all He has done in my life. I am thankful for the transformation that He allowed to happen and continues to make happen in my life. But I am most thankful for the gift of healing and the healing of the wounds which have burdened me most of my life. God is truly an amazing God. I am always reminded that God is faithful to those who are faithful to Him.

Remain faithful to God in all that you are and all that you do and He will remain faithful to you.