New Testimony

This is the edited version of the original testimony. I edited it to incorporate it into my Transformation in Christ talk given June 23, 2008 for SFC as the last talk of the Spring 2008 CLP. What an amazing experience it was to give this testimony and bear witness to God's awesome power and abundant graces and blessings with my parents. It was a huge healing for us all. I am glad to share it here with everyone to read.

The NEW testimony

I am alive and I had to share it.

I wanted to tell you all how alive I feel. I feel so alive in the spirit. I feel so in love with Jesus Christ right now. I’m more in love than I have ever felt with anyone even another human being whether it is family or a boyfriend or in a relationship. I owe a lot of it to SFC and my experiences that I have shared here. Since joining SFC, I have felt alive and I am filled with the spirit. The last 6 months have been even better. I've never felt this alive. Not just alive in the spirit, but alive with life. I can feel myself breathing in life with every breath that I take. It's amazing. My life has turned around. When I first joined SFC, I was angry and bitter. Although I grew up Catholic and was a devoted follower, I was not ready to fully accept Jesus Christ. I didn’t think that I could be apart of this group. I was focused on the wrong things. I was focused on being single and how miserable I was and not on Jesus Christ. Events of my past had made me this very angry and bitter person. Growing up as a victim of sexual molestation for many years made me angry with God. I often wondered why God let something like this happen to me. Years later I was hoping to trade in my one bad hand for a better one, but instead I was diagnosed bipolar at the age of 26. With this I became even more angry and bitter. I had been dealt two bad hands. I didn’t see where God was in it at all. I had faith but it was lacking in something. In my eyes God and faith had failed me. Later I realized how scary it was when I was that angry and bitter because I know that when I was feeling this way, the Evil One was whispering in my ear that God was a punishing God. God was a cruel God. God had brought all this pain in my life. God was an angry God. God had done all these bad things to me. But now I know that God didn't make them happen because He's an angry God or a punishing God or even a hateful God. I know now He's truly a loving God and He dealt me these two hands so that I can see the wonders of His works. He has done amazing things in my life. He has given me a full and renewed life. He has healed me. I was truly on the edge of the cliff so far away from God. And now my eyes are forward and I can see God standing in front of me. All the trials and tribulations have now become my gift – my gift to you and my tool to show you how amazing God can be. I am finally at peace. There is a strong sense of peace and healing. I have a long way to go before I reach the end, but I know that with each day I grow more in love with Jesus Christ the closer I am to the finish. I have turned around 180 degrees and I'm now facing God and He's reaching out to me and I'm walking closer and closer to him. I've been in Catholic groups before. I've led prayer groups and Bible studies. I've led retreats and given talks on my life experiences. I've had strong faith before, but NOTHING like what I feel now. I feel the power of God working through me. It's in the way that I talk, in the way that I walk, and in the way that I act. It is in every breath that I take. I am consumed by God's love and it's amazing.

I am truly grateful to SFC for inspiring me to build up my faith in God. I can see and feel God working in my life. More than I ever have before.

Life is good, I'm alive, and I'm in love -- in love with Jesus Christ.